Rape Culture and Us.

What's Rape Culture...more than half of India may not be even aware about this phenomenon...and most of the people who do, probably look at it as one of Western civilization's idiosyncrasies. Pity....seeing that we as a society practise it rampantly.



Rape culture can be defined when we trivialize rape, when we normalize the behaviour in society, when we blame the victim for anything possible under the sun but fail to mention the rapist...when the rapists can return back to their normal life get married settle down while the victim pays a price by being an outcast...by the incident defining her life...by running years on end for justice without getting any.

Picture Courtesy:www.mdjunction.com 

Look at the image. Now think about the many Bollywood blockbusters that we had where this scenario is exalted. Its so common that we enjoy it..trivialize it...and it trickles down to our youth who believe they are just enacting out what the girls want...


Rape culture does exist here.


Let's start with the authorities. It exists when a police officer blatantly says that the victim was 35 yrs old married woman...how does it matter...who would want to rape her; It exists when police give more protection and privilege to the hot shot rapist then to the victim; it exists when they urge the victims who finally come forward to not file an FIR but to sort it out themselves; it exists when Two Finger test is conducted on the victims (An invasive and absolutely cruel test performed on the victims...This test has been recently banned thanks to activists who took it up)


And what about the politicians and the leaders leading our states and our country. If one leader blamed the "Chowmien" (Yes!! The food. Apparently it leads to hormonal imbalance); another claimed in his pre-elections speech to lessen the punishment for rapes since boys should not be punished for such a petty thing...after all boys will be boys.


More shocking were the fatwas they wanted the women to follow:

• Let the girls not use mobiles, that leads to more interaction and hence rape (Seems logical enough...who would we call for help anyways right?)

• Let the age of marriage for girls be lowered, that is, indulge in more child marriages, that will fix the problem (So that marital rape can take place instead of rape. Of course in our society, marital rape is not even acknowledged. The guy is her husband, they say, he can do whatever he wants...the woman is probably frigid...parents sent back an abused and battered victim consoling her that her husband is just passionate...just shows how much loved she is...) 

• A self assessed spiritual guru and now a molester himself stated: When men come to brutally rape you, join your hands and beg for your life. Tell them that they are your brothers and the men will leave you in peace..(The same men who a moment before were intent on raping and possibly murdering you brutally) 

• Of course, another classic by most of these demented politicians: Western Civilization. Avoid short dresses, parties, alcohol, going out after sunset and many more...all of which is applicable only for Women 

These are just a few of the shocking statements made. And in case you are wondering, even women leaders have made such statements. All of this and more are available on the net. And, we vote for these people. These men/women are in power because of us. Shows how much weightage we are giving to their degrading mindset. No wonder rape is on an all time high. No wonder the victims don't get justice most of the time. And they are not alone...we have people like these from every walk of life...


Now this was one part of the game...what about us as a society.


Rape culture within our society exists when a rape victim is not allowed inside a hotel premises for being "a rape victim"...it exists when people ask what was she wearing...whether she was out with boys...Was she drinking...was she a promiscuous woman...It results in small instances when the survivors' near and dear ones want to know intricate details about the incident taking a sick pleasure in it...where sympathy turns into something lesser...It exists when we don't stand by her side, especially if the rapist is someone within the family..


Think about it for just a minute...rape is an act where you don't have control over anything...Where your dignity is taken from you forcibly...repeatedly...so that you are naked in all its true sense....after which nothing seems safe enough..no one seems trustworthy...many a times its the ones you trust who commit the act, making it even more difficult to handle....


How do we react...many a times it has been seen as long as the victim behaves like a "victim" we are pretty comfortable offering sympathy and pity...but the moment she wants to move on...that's another ball game...if she starts getting back into her normal life, we whisper and ask each other "Isn't it too soon? It doesn't seem to affect her that much" with the right amount of incredulity and shock, not understanding that it probably took all her strength to act normal again, that maybe this was her way of surviving, rather wining...to prove to herself, the world and most of all to her rapist that that incident will not define her life (coz as the experts say many a times rape is not about sexual gratification but a psychological control over the victim)


Rape culture is here. Has been here from time memorial.


Time our generation did something about it. Time we start asking the victim "Are you ok?" Time we say out loud to the victim "It's not your fault" Time we do not ask her to explain how and why but trust that nothing should be reason enough for this. Time we do not vote these men in politics....do not interact with them....time we do not watch their movies....time to treat them as they are. Not Human.


The way out:


Educate yourself. How to deal with it. It can happen to anyone. Educate your children. Make it unacceptable for them as an act. There are numerous movies, books available some fiction some real life cases. Read it up...if nothing else, Google it. I tried googling rape crisis centres in India...came up with almost nothing...shows how dismal the state is.


So it lies upon us to educate ourselves...read up...read up that a rape victim can always ask for a lady officer to be there...that she should be given a morning after pill to avoid chances of pregnancy...that she should be tested for any STDs. Get help. Get the victim professional counselling. S/he will need it. Give them time...some people might take a year some more than two...You won't be able to understand their pain, their rage, their frustration...no one will. But be there for them. If they want to fight it out in courts, support them, if they want to move past it, still support them..it's their call...Be there. Thats enough.


                            Treat the rapist like a criminal. Not the victim. Stop shaming her.

Picture Courtesy: www.loyolaphoenix.com 

P.S: Rape can happen to a man as much as to a woman. I just referred to the victim as she here.


You can go through the following link that I found. watch the video...its something...will give you a new perspective of thinking http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-no-country-for-women-a-campaign-to-combat-the-ever-increasing-rape-culture-in-india-2009107


Try catching a Bengali movie named Dahan, one of the best examples of sexual molestation and the behaviour of civilized society towards the victim.

Pratap Vaidik & his 60 Seconds of Fame Gone Wrong

When Mr. Vaidik, a freelance journalist and a scholar decided to meet Hafiz Saeed in Pakistan, little did he know the kind of furore it will create or maybe he did know but just didn't realize how wrong it will all go. Now what was wrong in him meeting a terrorist, journalists all over the world have done it for decades, given the world another perspective while maintaining an impersonal stance in the matter at hand. What was wrong was the way it was conducted, firstly, there was no official authorization for such an interview to take place and secondly, it seems no recording of the interview was kept and later no transcript was published, in fact it was not conducted like interviews in such exceptional situations are, rather it looked more like a rendezvous between two close aides, for lack of a better word.

Mr. Vaidik, it seems is very clear in his mind about his intentions to meet Hafiz, the man responsible for the 26/11 attacks among other heinous crimes. As per him, he risked his life by carrying out an interview and a personal dialogue with the latter. He believes that ending "conflict is possible not through the gun but talks"  and so he has played the role of a goodwill ambassador for India by carrying out his own diluted idea of a Track II diplomacy. The fact that he did not have the proper authority to do so has never occurred to him and even if we argue that he was under the capacity of a journalist, his actions are now being questioned by several members of his own fraternity for not carrying out the role effectively. 

The government in the meanwhile, has maintained a clear distance from this fiasco naming it as " diplomatic misadventure of a private individual " whereas the opposition is raising uproar about it in parliament for continuous two days branding him an anti Indian among other things and demanding his arrest. Mr. Vaidik though, in the midst of all this seems pretty unperturbed, confident that he has done the right thing and the nation will come around, eventually.

Now, being a democracy every individual is entitled to their opinion and being a journalist one can meet people from every walk of life but at the same time anyone who is a sympathiser of an enemy of the country is not to be tolerated under any circumstances, especially when they seem to self serve their own thirst for becoming famous. 

But in this particular case, it just seems that his vanity and his penchant for fame made him commit such an act, wherein he himself tweeted photos of the interview and declared to have undertaken such a risk to his life. It rather seems like a bad episode of Bigg Boss where individuals pull outrageous acts just to grab attention, though the gravity of this situation is something that cannot be denied. An action of some sort should unquestionably be taken if we do not want more episodes of these kinds on our hands (who knows what kind of information they are passing on to the other side, albeit unintentionally). And, till that time an action is taken, the biggest satisfaction that we can give ourselves is not  to give him any more of our time.

Vaidik with Saeed (Picture  Courtesy: Social Networking Sites)

 P.S.: The views expressed are solely of the author's.

The Two Minute Wonder.

If your childhood was spent in the late 80's and early 90’s era, chances are your Sunday esspecial breakfast consisted of yummy two minute noodles (popularly known as Maggi) that your Maa prepared for you. It used to be the highlight of the day for me.

At times cooked in just plain water along with the flavour packet given, it would be served in a bowl...noodles floating in the thick gooey liquid, whereas at other times served steamy hot, stir fried with a plethora of mixed colour veggies and eggs. A combination of maggi and  favourite cartoons comprised of my Sunday memories...even today after all these years, the two minute wonder has never left my side...whenever am too lazy to cook anything, it would serve as my breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch ...you name it. 

Now, being noodle fanatic that I am (Maggi / Top Ramen's...whatever your brand of poison is), I thought of compiling all the recipes that i have come across and loved so far. If one I learned from an Assamese friend then the other from a Lucknowi Christian friend, one was my mum's own (probably all of my friends and cousins’ moms as well) whereas another was from a Bengali student I used to teach.

So here goes:

The Classic Two Minuter:  

Classic wo Minuter: The Scrambly way

Cook the noodles as per instructions given on the pack. And then while cooking add a spoonful of butter for a creamier version.

Another Version is to go the scrambly way.

For this all that you need to do is scramble some eggs (add in salt and a lil pinch of red chilli powder while frying). Serve the noodles in a bowl (you can make it a lil soupy if you like) and just add the eggs as a topping.

Here you have it: The classic two minuter with a twist.

Tarka Maggi (Can't help it...the brand name 'Maggi' stuck):

As the name suggests this one will definitely  add a kick to your noodles. 

Tarka Maggi Noodles

Add Ons:

Sunflower oil 2-3 tbsp

Ankha Jeera  (Cumin Seeds)

Rai  (Mustard seeds)

Sukha Mirchi 1 cut into four pieces (Dry Red Chilli)

2 green chillies 1 cut into 4 pieces, another sliced

You will need a masala flavour pack for this one. Cook the noodles as per pack with the masala in plain water. The noodles shouldn't get too soggy and there should be absolutely lil water left (tip: add a lil less water than mentioned on the pack).

Then take a kadai or a wok, and add sunflower oil, once it heats up add green chillies first, then ankha jeera and rai as well as sukha mirchi...let everything splutter for a while in the oil. Once the spluttering stops...just add the precooked noodles, stir for two minutes so that it mixes thoroughly.

Tarka Maggi Noodles

Voila!!! Here you have it...

Noodles tarka lagake...your taste buds are in for a treat.

P.S: The precooked noodles shouldn't be kept aside for long or else it will get too soggy and clumpy .

 Chicken Zinger:

If you are a fan of the chicken flavored noodles, then this one is for you.

Chicken Zinger Noodles

Add Ons:

Sunflower oil 2-3 tbsp

Garlic  (2-3 cloves diced)

Onion (1 big diced) Tomato (half diced)

Chicken Masala powder (1-2 tbsp)

Cook the noodles as per pack with the chicken flavouring in plain water. The noodles shouldn't get too soggy and there should be absolutely lil water left. 

Then take a kadai or a wok, and add sunflower oil, once it heats up add the diced onions first, then add the garlic, let it cook for a while till the onions become translucent...after which just add in the cooked maggi. Fry it for a while then add the chicken masala to it and stir it for a minute or so.

Believe you me...this one will be one of your best two minute comfort foods. Period.

The Kebabi Express

Yup even the two minute wonders can go gourmet..so in case you want to invest more than 10 minutes, this one will rock your palate. 

The Kebabi Express Noodles

Add Ons:

Sunflower oil 2-3 tbsp

Ready to make kebabs  (as many pieces as you like)

Onion (1 big diced) Tomato (half diced)

Chicken Masala powder (1-2 tbsp)

Carrot & Capsicum (Optional) (equal amounts diced)

Garlic (2-3 cloves diced)

Jeera powder (Cumin Powder) & Dalchini powder (1 tspn each)

Ginger Garlic Paste (1-2 tspn)

1 Cheese cube

Cook the noodles as per pack with the chicken flavouring in plain water. Again, the noodles shouldn't get too soggy.

Then take a kadai or a wok, and add sunflower oil, once it heats up add the diced veggies and fry it for a while then add in the onions and garlic, let it cook for a while till the onions become translucent...after which add in the the masalas first and then the ginger garlic paste...let it cook and then add in the kebabs. Fry all of this together.

Finally add in the cooked maggi. Mix it altogether. Serve it on a plate and while its still hot, grate cheese over it.

Its so yummy that your stomach ulcers will have a field day on this, as they do with all fantastic dishes.

The Healthy - Shealthy Noodles:

OK...once in a while the diet bug does bite me, and this healthy version is for all those god forsaken times.

The Healthy-Shealthy Noodles

Add Ons:

Olive Oil / Sunflower oil 2-3 tbsp

Salt (as per taste)

Onion (1 big julienned)

Black pepper (grind a few pieces or just add in ½ tsp powder)

Carrot, Capsicum, Celery (equal amounts julienned)

Broccoli (Optional)

Mushroom (Optional) (small thin slices)

Eggs (Optional)

Cook the noodles in plain water, since it is a healthier version so no added flavourings here. The noodles here need to be blanched to retain their crispiness.

In a non stick wok or pan, pour olive oil, once it heats up add in the veggies and mushroom, if you feel like add in the eggs as well. Saute everything for a while. Then add in the noodles, sprinkle salt and pepper all over it. cook for a minute or so and serve hot.

This pleasure won't make you feel guilty at all....

The quintessential 'Chow mein' (that’s what most of the Bengali moms used to call it):

Add Ons:

Sunflower oil 2-3 tbsp

Salt & Sugar (as per taste)

Onion (1 big diced)

Green chillies (optional)

Carrot, Capsicum, Cauliflower, Peas (equal amounts)

Eggs (Optional)

Cook the noodles in plain water, drain the water and keep it aside. Boil all the veggies except for capsicum. Take a wok or a kadhai, heat up  the oil, then add the onions and chillies. Fry it till the onions become translucent then add in all the veggies together. Cook it for a while, then add in the noodles. Add the masala flavour pack, then a lil bit of salt (if required) and lil bit of sugar (we Bengalis believe it brings out the flavour of other ingredients).

Fry all this together and your noodle has effectively turned into chow mien 

So here you have it, the recipes I have come to love and devour anytime and everytime.

At times a comfort food, at times a necessity and some other times just a ride down your memory lane...these two minute wonders always come through.

 

Queen: Probably Feminism at its Best

This is not a review of the movie, god knows we have almost a million of them on the net; instead this article tries to express why this movie is one of a kind and how it has nailed feminism. You might wonder about the connection to feminism since the protagonist neither makes a hard hitting statement by avenging her pride and then becoming a career oriented woman nor does she renounce her love and do something for the greater good of society. Rather from the beginning of the movie till the end she has remained a “Nobody” and yet through her journey and her subsequent evolution she has given you the true meaning of feminism, something all of us can relate to.

So, here we have the protagonist Rani, all innocent and sweet getting married to her prince charming, who will protect her from everything and love her till the end of time...so what if he is a bit controlling at times, that’s ‘cause he just wants what’s best for her. But then comes the twist in the tale that too within the first half hour of the movie, the charming prince feels she is just too drab for her and so dumps her quite unceremoniously the day before the wedding. All her virtue and naiveté goes against her as she tries to plead for her love...she returns heartbroken and numb to her home trying to shut the door to reality, exactly like most of us would behave in a situation like this. 

From here on the character could have taken two distinctly trodden paths of yesteryear movies (Remember Rekha, Sridevi etc.); in one she would win over her lover and all other obstacles in her path by her innocence and virtue, whereas in the other she would decide to turn a modern woman, which usually refers to wearing western clothes and mouthing English at the drop of a hat to avenge her pride but of course simultaneously retaining her ‘sanskar’ till the very end. Instead the story took on a very fresh and realistic approach and gave us a protagonist who is sensible and mature. So, Rani cried her heart out for the first couple of days and then decided to go on a trip, her honeymoon trip to be exact, and get a little perspective.

Throughout the story, you find instances of woman power deeply rooted in the context...so you have Vijaylakshmi or VJ, the namesake of Rani’s ex-fiancée, who is raising a kid on her own, is very much aware of her own sexuality and who shows Rani how to not take herself or life that seriously...then you have Roxettee, another character who stays with us for just a couple of minutes but creates a statement  that women today do take the role of bread earners for their family very seriously and handle it very effectively. And of course, then there’s Rani herself, who slowly but surely takes a stand... she learns how to survive in foreign lands, she learns to enjoy herself dancing in the nightclub without feeling guilty, she learns how to protect herself while fighting off a robber or for that matter improvise when she drives her drunk friends back to the hostel, she learns to be aware about her own sexuality when she kisses the Italian restaurateur, she even learns to appreciate her friends when she decides to postpone her discussion with Vijay just to hang out with them (which actually gets a big thumbs up since most of us are guilty of choosing the guy over our friends) and finally she learns to put her own needs first, deciding to let go of her relationship with Vijay.

In the end you find her almost the same in terms of appearance and mannerism, the same heavily accented English, the same Indian kurti, albeit a more stylish one...but what changes drastically is her poise and her attitude towards life and herself. This is a woman who knows her own mind, one who is self assured and confident and who does not need some prince charming by her side to validate her existence. The best example of her sensibility shines through in the way she rejects Vijay, with kindness and grace, thanking him for everything.

This is Rani’s journey of self discovery, a journey which reveals the true mark of a woman of the world. This lady has broken every stereotype there is and given us a character we can associate with on so many levels.

Maybe this is what feminism looks like in the real life...

Fair & Beauty : The Unfairness of it all

Recently I came across a campaign by 'Dark is Beautiful' which spoke about choosing to stay dark skinned and yet acknowledge that one is beautiful. This according to me is a very crucial subject to speak of, as important as caste discrimination or same sex relationships...because it is definitely an epidemic in India and maybe in the neighbouring countries as well.

I have often wondered...Why is it that we are so obsessed with fair skin?? Exactly who decided to set the parameter of beauty based on one's complexion...Could it be that the people who ruled us ages ago have somehow set that standard so that even after all these time we hanker to become like them, our gora firangi invaders...that subconsciously we still feel beneath them and somehow we relate our skin colour or how fluently we speak English (Oh Yeah! thats another one, but that calls for a separate blog post altogether) to that. There are no definite answers to that although the results are for all to see..

Today our market is filled with fairness products right from face wash, sunscreen, body lotion...no matter which product you reach for, you can be certain the "F" word is right there tempting you, promising you much more than a lightened complexion...a better career, loving husband, colleagues who respect you...all of this just by changing the colour of your skin. The situation is such that even men are not spared, now we have superstars proclaiming that the reason for their success is because they went for skin lightening, even though these stars are known for their smouldering dark skin so much so that it adds on to their charisma. So there you have it, even if you want to buy a product which does not promote such blatant discrimination your choices are pretty limited...

I know what you are thinking, it isn't that bad right? I mean all of us are educated open minded people who know not to take these things that seriously, its just a means to feel good about yourself, just as you splurge for that branded dress or the expensive eye liner...Right?? Yeah, it would have been that simple only if all of us took it that simply..but the point is: it has long gone past the stage of just feeling good about yourself, now it has become a requisite to be termed a beauty; don't believe me, OK, quickly calculate in your mind the number of fair beauties versus the number of dark skinned ones, it could be in cinema, modelling, people you know...got the answer. Our art reflects our culture, our mindset and so does our consumer market and all of these are screaming out the same thing. Fair Skin Sells, Fair Skin is In.

Now, lets step away from the metropolitan cities, and you will find the situation taking an ugly turn. Because in villages and towns you will find people having access to the concept of fairness being sold over counters but with no means to achieve them and there lies their misfortune. So we find dark skinned girls stigmatised because of their colour from an early age, fated to be shunned even by their parents, their confidence shattered just because of their colour, being told  to settle for what they get in life, be it a means of livelihood or a marriageable prospect.

See, the "F" word is an epidemic and it does need to stop....

So the question is what can we do about it...Well,  we can take a conscious stand to stop using such products which promote skin lightening, we can ensure that we are vocal about it whenever we see discrimination on colour and we can definitely ensure that our coming generations are not a victim to such perceptions.

Stay Unfair. Stay Beautiful.

Apur Panchali - Review

A lil late in the day to write a review on the movie but then we did have a late release in Mumbai. Now there is a special thrill watching a movie of your native language playing in Mumbai, where, in that small movie hall you seek a solidarity in all the fellow lingual natives sharing the experience with you, though in this case the movie was good no matter the language and if you happen to be a Ray movie buff then it's definitely an added bonus.

Apur Panchali traces the story of Subir Banerjee, the person who played Apu in Ray's Pather Panchali. Based on a true story, the movie brings forth the question which most of us did not even think of acknowledging : What happens to the child artist after he/she disappears from the silver screen....for that matter what happens to any artist who is famous for a while and then lost in obscurity. The movie jumps between past and present, reel and real, black and white, slowly unravelling the life of the protagonist on three parallel lines: Ray's Apu, Subir's youth and his present.

Kaushik Ganguly beautifully captures the anguish of Subir Banerjee, the one who has been forgotten and has been cast into mediocrity. Parambrata Chatterjee, in his role as the young Subir is adept and as usual gets all the nuances right, though it is the older Subir played by Ardhendu Banerjee  who strikes a chord in our  hearts with his subdued performance of a man defiant of the world which rejected him. Parno Mitter, in the role of Ashima is just right, playing the character of child-woman perfectly, even Ritwick Chakraborty, who plays Subir's friend is understated and mature in  his portrayal. Needless to say the treatment of characters has been done beautifully, where even characters with bit roles like Subir's in laws have stayed on. The background score is poignant & haunting binding the entire three stages of the film together, the music of Indradeep Dasgupta carrying remnants of Pandit Ravi Shankar's score.

The director's intent is clear, by placing Ray's classics against his own story line he wanted to drive home the resemblance between the character of Apu and the person who played it, that is, Subir Banerjee, which he himselfs mouths as "Uncanny" in the movie. But this is where the movie falters, by placing his scene with Ray's classics Ganguly, instead of projecting the stark resemblance, at times without intent, undermines  his own work. For example, the scene where Parambrata is told the news of his baby's death, we find Ray's classic being played where Apu (Soumitra Chatterjee) hears the news of his wife's death, now this creates a damper on the original scene cause before Ray's handiwork Ganguly's pales in comparison...and instead of empathising with Parambrata you are reminded of the brilliant portrayal of pain by Soumitra Chatterjee in Apur Sansar, so much so that reel becomes more intense, invokes more pathos, just in that once glimpse. 

But, that definitely does not take away from the intent of the film, which is pure and quite original. If we let go of  comparisons, we find that Ganguly has given us a good film, something which is interesting to watch, not too preachy and yet delivers a message. In the end we do find a kinship with Subir Banerjee, our beloved  Apu of yonder years, and that's the power of good storytelling.

So in case you are a Bengali do catch this movie in your nearest theatre and in case you are not, well the movie is playing with subtitles as well, its definitely worth a watch.