Rape Culture and Us.

What's Rape Culture...more than half of India may not be even aware about this phenomenon...and most of the people who do, probably look at it as one of Western civilization's idiosyncrasies. Pity....seeing that we as a society practise it rampantly.



Rape culture can be defined when we trivialize rape, when we normalize the behaviour in society, when we blame the victim for anything possible under the sun but fail to mention the rapist...when the rapists can return back to their normal life get married settle down while the victim pays a price by being an outcast...by the incident defining her life...by running years on end for justice without getting any.

Picture Courtesy:www.mdjunction.com 

Look at the image. Now think about the many Bollywood blockbusters that we had where this scenario is exalted. Its so common that we enjoy it..trivialize it...and it trickles down to our youth who believe they are just enacting out what the girls want...


Rape culture does exist here.


Let's start with the authorities. It exists when a police officer blatantly says that the victim was 35 yrs old married woman...how does it matter...who would want to rape her; It exists when police give more protection and privilege to the hot shot rapist then to the victim; it exists when they urge the victims who finally come forward to not file an FIR but to sort it out themselves; it exists when Two Finger test is conducted on the victims (An invasive and absolutely cruel test performed on the victims...This test has been recently banned thanks to activists who took it up)


And what about the politicians and the leaders leading our states and our country. If one leader blamed the "Chowmien" (Yes!! The food. Apparently it leads to hormonal imbalance); another claimed in his pre-elections speech to lessen the punishment for rapes since boys should not be punished for such a petty thing...after all boys will be boys.


More shocking were the fatwas they wanted the women to follow:

• Let the girls not use mobiles, that leads to more interaction and hence rape (Seems logical enough...who would we call for help anyways right?)

• Let the age of marriage for girls be lowered, that is, indulge in more child marriages, that will fix the problem (So that marital rape can take place instead of rape. Of course in our society, marital rape is not even acknowledged. The guy is her husband, they say, he can do whatever he wants...the woman is probably frigid...parents sent back an abused and battered victim consoling her that her husband is just passionate...just shows how much loved she is...) 

• A self assessed spiritual guru and now a molester himself stated: When men come to brutally rape you, join your hands and beg for your life. Tell them that they are your brothers and the men will leave you in peace..(The same men who a moment before were intent on raping and possibly murdering you brutally) 

• Of course, another classic by most of these demented politicians: Western Civilization. Avoid short dresses, parties, alcohol, going out after sunset and many more...all of which is applicable only for Women 

These are just a few of the shocking statements made. And in case you are wondering, even women leaders have made such statements. All of this and more are available on the net. And, we vote for these people. These men/women are in power because of us. Shows how much weightage we are giving to their degrading mindset. No wonder rape is on an all time high. No wonder the victims don't get justice most of the time. And they are not alone...we have people like these from every walk of life...


Now this was one part of the game...what about us as a society.


Rape culture within our society exists when a rape victim is not allowed inside a hotel premises for being "a rape victim"...it exists when people ask what was she wearing...whether she was out with boys...Was she drinking...was she a promiscuous woman...It results in small instances when the survivors' near and dear ones want to know intricate details about the incident taking a sick pleasure in it...where sympathy turns into something lesser...It exists when we don't stand by her side, especially if the rapist is someone within the family..


Think about it for just a minute...rape is an act where you don't have control over anything...Where your dignity is taken from you forcibly...repeatedly...so that you are naked in all its true sense....after which nothing seems safe enough..no one seems trustworthy...many a times its the ones you trust who commit the act, making it even more difficult to handle....


How do we react...many a times it has been seen as long as the victim behaves like a "victim" we are pretty comfortable offering sympathy and pity...but the moment she wants to move on...that's another ball game...if she starts getting back into her normal life, we whisper and ask each other "Isn't it too soon? It doesn't seem to affect her that much" with the right amount of incredulity and shock, not understanding that it probably took all her strength to act normal again, that maybe this was her way of surviving, rather wining...to prove to herself, the world and most of all to her rapist that that incident will not define her life (coz as the experts say many a times rape is not about sexual gratification but a psychological control over the victim)


Rape culture is here. Has been here from time memorial.


Time our generation did something about it. Time we start asking the victim "Are you ok?" Time we say out loud to the victim "It's not your fault" Time we do not ask her to explain how and why but trust that nothing should be reason enough for this. Time we do not vote these men in politics....do not interact with them....time we do not watch their movies....time to treat them as they are. Not Human.


The way out:


Educate yourself. How to deal with it. It can happen to anyone. Educate your children. Make it unacceptable for them as an act. There are numerous movies, books available some fiction some real life cases. Read it up...if nothing else, Google it. I tried googling rape crisis centres in India...came up with almost nothing...shows how dismal the state is.


So it lies upon us to educate ourselves...read up...read up that a rape victim can always ask for a lady officer to be there...that she should be given a morning after pill to avoid chances of pregnancy...that she should be tested for any STDs. Get help. Get the victim professional counselling. S/he will need it. Give them time...some people might take a year some more than two...You won't be able to understand their pain, their rage, their frustration...no one will. But be there for them. If they want to fight it out in courts, support them, if they want to move past it, still support them..it's their call...Be there. Thats enough.


                            Treat the rapist like a criminal. Not the victim. Stop shaming her.

Picture Courtesy: www.loyolaphoenix.com 

P.S: Rape can happen to a man as much as to a woman. I just referred to the victim as she here.


You can go through the following link that I found. watch the video...its something...will give you a new perspective of thinking http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-no-country-for-women-a-campaign-to-combat-the-ever-increasing-rape-culture-in-india-2009107


Try catching a Bengali movie named Dahan, one of the best examples of sexual molestation and the behaviour of civilized society towards the victim.