Suchitra Bhattacharya – The woman I met but never knew

So, yesterday I watched another movie based on Suchitra Bhattacharya's novel: Hemanter Pakhi. I have always maintained that great movies and great literature makes you think long after you finish watching or reading them. And this was definitely one of them.

I love her stories and the way she leaves her endings open for interpretation. It’s like every time she shares a very real experience with us, and then leaves us at an important juncture, as if to ask us - what would you have done? 

I still remember my first visit to her house. I was in my early teens, an introvert who was more comfortable being alone with a book than around people. She was giving away her old books and my father took me to see if I wanted any from Suchitra aunty. She gave me her old battered books to take away, one of which was "The Godfather" (I still have this). I met her quite a few times after that but never spoke to her much except for hellos and routine talks that you have with acquaintances. 

Suchitra Bhattacharya with my Chotomaa (Aunt) in my father's Book Fair Stall.

And then I saw Dahan. And, I realized how powerful she is, how fierce, how complex…and how I never realized how lucky I was to meet her. She left a deep impression on me unknowingly, because I would then go back and try to recollect how could she write such tales. You see I always thought that the best work comes out of pain. All my favorite writers mostly had a broken life and I thought that’s where the inspiration comes from. That angst, that pain brings out the creativity. But here she was – an ordinary woman who I used to meet few times a year in Boi Mela (Kolkata book fair) or Dhakuria market or at home, who seemed exactly like the other kakimas (aunties) I used to meet, and yet she could write such extraordinary stories! 

These two stories, Hemanter Pakhi and Dahan, particularly move me...

Hemanter Pakhi makes you introspect your relationships and your identity. What if tomorrow you broke the routine of your life and did something just for yourself. How supportive will be your closed ones when their lives get disrupted because of this. And for how long?

It is available on Hot Star.
Source: Google Images

Source: Google Images

Dahan portrays middle and upper-middle class women and their society after an incident of molestation. The fact that it’s based on an actual case of molestation in our urban city of Kolkata is by itself horrifying. But what Suchitra Bhattacharya has done brilliantly is shown us the aftermath of the incident. How lives changed for everyone involved after the molestation. How it affected the ones close to you and brought out their strength or weakness. Dahan is a difficult movie to watch, but watch it you must.

These incidents could have happened to me, and then would the aftermath be similar to the protagonists face? These questions that she makes you ask yourself are important and thought provoking. That the brilliance of her writing. 

I feel every man should watch Dahan and Hemanter Pakhi to understand how patriarchy can be subtle and woven into their mind set. A man may not even realize when he does it. 

It’s like a woman saying to her husband that she wants their child to have her surname. Will the husband agree or will he find it absurd? 

Suchitra Bhattacharya’s feminism is of an ordinary woman doing something equally ordinary, but nevertheless a very uncommon an act – standing up for what is right for her! And, at the end of the day isn't that what every feminist is fighting for?

Read her work or watch them (if you are kachaa in Bengali, as I am). She gives you credit by never coming to a conclusion, never pointing things out for you. Instead she weaves her tale into the mundane lives of the character, asking us to form our own endings. 

Any Bengali worth their salt will definitely know about her books and movies but in case you don’t, here is a list:

Few reads for the feminist in you:

• Dahan

• Hementer Pakhi

• Alochchaya

• Kaacher Manush

Few reads for the reader in you:

• Kancher Deowal 

• Ichcher Gaach

• Bhangal Kal

If you are a non-Bengali, try looking for these movies with subtitles. You won’t regret it!

Rape Culture and Us.

What's Rape Culture...more than half of India may not be even aware about this phenomenon...and most of the people who do, probably look at it as one of Western civilization's idiosyncrasies. Pity....seeing that we as a society practise it rampantly.



Rape culture can be defined when we trivialize rape, when we normalize the behaviour in society, when we blame the victim for anything possible under the sun but fail to mention the rapist...when the rapists can return back to their normal life get married settle down while the victim pays a price by being an outcast...by the incident defining her life...by running years on end for justice without getting any.

Picture Courtesy:www.mdjunction.com 

Look at the image. Now think about the many Bollywood blockbusters that we had where this scenario is exalted. Its so common that we enjoy it..trivialize it...and it trickles down to our youth who believe they are just enacting out what the girls want...


Rape culture does exist here.


Let's start with the authorities. It exists when a police officer blatantly says that the victim was 35 yrs old married woman...how does it matter...who would want to rape her; It exists when police give more protection and privilege to the hot shot rapist then to the victim; it exists when they urge the victims who finally come forward to not file an FIR but to sort it out themselves; it exists when Two Finger test is conducted on the victims (An invasive and absolutely cruel test performed on the victims...This test has been recently banned thanks to activists who took it up)


And what about the politicians and the leaders leading our states and our country. If one leader blamed the "Chowmien" (Yes!! The food. Apparently it leads to hormonal imbalance); another claimed in his pre-elections speech to lessen the punishment for rapes since boys should not be punished for such a petty thing...after all boys will be boys.


More shocking were the fatwas they wanted the women to follow:

• Let the girls not use mobiles, that leads to more interaction and hence rape (Seems logical enough...who would we call for help anyways right?)

• Let the age of marriage for girls be lowered, that is, indulge in more child marriages, that will fix the problem (So that marital rape can take place instead of rape. Of course in our society, marital rape is not even acknowledged. The guy is her husband, they say, he can do whatever he wants...the woman is probably frigid...parents sent back an abused and battered victim consoling her that her husband is just passionate...just shows how much loved she is...) 

• A self assessed spiritual guru and now a molester himself stated: When men come to brutally rape you, join your hands and beg for your life. Tell them that they are your brothers and the men will leave you in peace..(The same men who a moment before were intent on raping and possibly murdering you brutally) 

• Of course, another classic by most of these demented politicians: Western Civilization. Avoid short dresses, parties, alcohol, going out after sunset and many more...all of which is applicable only for Women 

These are just a few of the shocking statements made. And in case you are wondering, even women leaders have made such statements. All of this and more are available on the net. And, we vote for these people. These men/women are in power because of us. Shows how much weightage we are giving to their degrading mindset. No wonder rape is on an all time high. No wonder the victims don't get justice most of the time. And they are not alone...we have people like these from every walk of life...


Now this was one part of the game...what about us as a society.


Rape culture within our society exists when a rape victim is not allowed inside a hotel premises for being "a rape victim"...it exists when people ask what was she wearing...whether she was out with boys...Was she drinking...was she a promiscuous woman...It results in small instances when the survivors' near and dear ones want to know intricate details about the incident taking a sick pleasure in it...where sympathy turns into something lesser...It exists when we don't stand by her side, especially if the rapist is someone within the family..


Think about it for just a minute...rape is an act where you don't have control over anything...Where your dignity is taken from you forcibly...repeatedly...so that you are naked in all its true sense....after which nothing seems safe enough..no one seems trustworthy...many a times its the ones you trust who commit the act, making it even more difficult to handle....


How do we react...many a times it has been seen as long as the victim behaves like a "victim" we are pretty comfortable offering sympathy and pity...but the moment she wants to move on...that's another ball game...if she starts getting back into her normal life, we whisper and ask each other "Isn't it too soon? It doesn't seem to affect her that much" with the right amount of incredulity and shock, not understanding that it probably took all her strength to act normal again, that maybe this was her way of surviving, rather wining...to prove to herself, the world and most of all to her rapist that that incident will not define her life (coz as the experts say many a times rape is not about sexual gratification but a psychological control over the victim)


Rape culture is here. Has been here from time memorial.


Time our generation did something about it. Time we start asking the victim "Are you ok?" Time we say out loud to the victim "It's not your fault" Time we do not ask her to explain how and why but trust that nothing should be reason enough for this. Time we do not vote these men in politics....do not interact with them....time we do not watch their movies....time to treat them as they are. Not Human.


The way out:


Educate yourself. How to deal with it. It can happen to anyone. Educate your children. Make it unacceptable for them as an act. There are numerous movies, books available some fiction some real life cases. Read it up...if nothing else, Google it. I tried googling rape crisis centres in India...came up with almost nothing...shows how dismal the state is.


So it lies upon us to educate ourselves...read up...read up that a rape victim can always ask for a lady officer to be there...that she should be given a morning after pill to avoid chances of pregnancy...that she should be tested for any STDs. Get help. Get the victim professional counselling. S/he will need it. Give them time...some people might take a year some more than two...You won't be able to understand their pain, their rage, their frustration...no one will. But be there for them. If they want to fight it out in courts, support them, if they want to move past it, still support them..it's their call...Be there. Thats enough.


                            Treat the rapist like a criminal. Not the victim. Stop shaming her.

Picture Courtesy: www.loyolaphoenix.com 

P.S: Rape can happen to a man as much as to a woman. I just referred to the victim as she here.


You can go through the following link that I found. watch the video...its something...will give you a new perspective of thinking http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-no-country-for-women-a-campaign-to-combat-the-ever-increasing-rape-culture-in-india-2009107


Try catching a Bengali movie named Dahan, one of the best examples of sexual molestation and the behaviour of civilized society towards the victim.

Queen: Probably Feminism at its Best

This is not a review of the movie, god knows we have almost a million of them on the net; instead this article tries to express why this movie is one of a kind and how it has nailed feminism. You might wonder about the connection to feminism since the protagonist neither makes a hard hitting statement by avenging her pride and then becoming a career oriented woman nor does she renounce her love and do something for the greater good of society. Rather from the beginning of the movie till the end she has remained a “Nobody” and yet through her journey and her subsequent evolution she has given you the true meaning of feminism, something all of us can relate to.

So, here we have the protagonist Rani, all innocent and sweet getting married to her prince charming, who will protect her from everything and love her till the end of time...so what if he is a bit controlling at times, that’s ‘cause he just wants what’s best for her. But then comes the twist in the tale that too within the first half hour of the movie, the charming prince feels she is just too drab for her and so dumps her quite unceremoniously the day before the wedding. All her virtue and naiveté goes against her as she tries to plead for her love...she returns heartbroken and numb to her home trying to shut the door to reality, exactly like most of us would behave in a situation like this. 

From here on the character could have taken two distinctly trodden paths of yesteryear movies (Remember Rekha, Sridevi etc.); in one she would win over her lover and all other obstacles in her path by her innocence and virtue, whereas in the other she would decide to turn a modern woman, which usually refers to wearing western clothes and mouthing English at the drop of a hat to avenge her pride but of course simultaneously retaining her ‘sanskar’ till the very end. Instead the story took on a very fresh and realistic approach and gave us a protagonist who is sensible and mature. So, Rani cried her heart out for the first couple of days and then decided to go on a trip, her honeymoon trip to be exact, and get a little perspective.

Throughout the story, you find instances of woman power deeply rooted in the context...so you have Vijaylakshmi or VJ, the namesake of Rani’s ex-fiancée, who is raising a kid on her own, is very much aware of her own sexuality and who shows Rani how to not take herself or life that seriously...then you have Roxettee, another character who stays with us for just a couple of minutes but creates a statement  that women today do take the role of bread earners for their family very seriously and handle it very effectively. And of course, then there’s Rani herself, who slowly but surely takes a stand... she learns how to survive in foreign lands, she learns to enjoy herself dancing in the nightclub without feeling guilty, she learns how to protect herself while fighting off a robber or for that matter improvise when she drives her drunk friends back to the hostel, she learns to be aware about her own sexuality when she kisses the Italian restaurateur, she even learns to appreciate her friends when she decides to postpone her discussion with Vijay just to hang out with them (which actually gets a big thumbs up since most of us are guilty of choosing the guy over our friends) and finally she learns to put her own needs first, deciding to let go of her relationship with Vijay.

In the end you find her almost the same in terms of appearance and mannerism, the same heavily accented English, the same Indian kurti, albeit a more stylish one...but what changes drastically is her poise and her attitude towards life and herself. This is a woman who knows her own mind, one who is self assured and confident and who does not need some prince charming by her side to validate her existence. The best example of her sensibility shines through in the way she rejects Vijay, with kindness and grace, thanking him for everything.

This is Rani’s journey of self discovery, a journey which reveals the true mark of a woman of the world. This lady has broken every stereotype there is and given us a character we can associate with on so many levels.

Maybe this is what feminism looks like in the real life...

Fair & Beauty : The Unfairness of it all

Recently I came across a campaign by 'Dark is Beautiful' which spoke about choosing to stay dark skinned and yet acknowledge that one is beautiful. This according to me is a very crucial subject to speak of, as important as caste discrimination or same sex relationships...because it is definitely an epidemic in India and maybe in the neighbouring countries as well.

I have often wondered...Why is it that we are so obsessed with fair skin?? Exactly who decided to set the parameter of beauty based on one's complexion...Could it be that the people who ruled us ages ago have somehow set that standard so that even after all these time we hanker to become like them, our gora firangi invaders...that subconsciously we still feel beneath them and somehow we relate our skin colour or how fluently we speak English (Oh Yeah! thats another one, but that calls for a separate blog post altogether) to that. There are no definite answers to that although the results are for all to see..

Today our market is filled with fairness products right from face wash, sunscreen, body lotion...no matter which product you reach for, you can be certain the "F" word is right there tempting you, promising you much more than a lightened complexion...a better career, loving husband, colleagues who respect you...all of this just by changing the colour of your skin. The situation is such that even men are not spared, now we have superstars proclaiming that the reason for their success is because they went for skin lightening, even though these stars are known for their smouldering dark skin so much so that it adds on to their charisma. So there you have it, even if you want to buy a product which does not promote such blatant discrimination your choices are pretty limited...

I know what you are thinking, it isn't that bad right? I mean all of us are educated open minded people who know not to take these things that seriously, its just a means to feel good about yourself, just as you splurge for that branded dress or the expensive eye liner...Right?? Yeah, it would have been that simple only if all of us took it that simply..but the point is: it has long gone past the stage of just feeling good about yourself, now it has become a requisite to be termed a beauty; don't believe me, OK, quickly calculate in your mind the number of fair beauties versus the number of dark skinned ones, it could be in cinema, modelling, people you know...got the answer. Our art reflects our culture, our mindset and so does our consumer market and all of these are screaming out the same thing. Fair Skin Sells, Fair Skin is In.

Now, lets step away from the metropolitan cities, and you will find the situation taking an ugly turn. Because in villages and towns you will find people having access to the concept of fairness being sold over counters but with no means to achieve them and there lies their misfortune. So we find dark skinned girls stigmatised because of their colour from an early age, fated to be shunned even by their parents, their confidence shattered just because of their colour, being told  to settle for what they get in life, be it a means of livelihood or a marriageable prospect.

See, the "F" word is an epidemic and it does need to stop....

So the question is what can we do about it...Well,  we can take a conscious stand to stop using such products which promote skin lightening, we can ensure that we are vocal about it whenever we see discrimination on colour and we can definitely ensure that our coming generations are not a victim to such perceptions.

Stay Unfair. Stay Beautiful.